Tweaked
by paperpenguin
Summary: [Megas XLR] A little fight with Kiva has some unexpected repercussions on Coop...Bad summary, I know, but it's better than you think DONE!
1. Default Chapter

_A/N: Welcome one and all to my newest fic! We really do need a Megas XLR section, don't we? But in the meantime, I'll just have to vent my creativity here. Anyway, enjoy the story!_

_Disclaimer: Sorry, no giant robot for me..._

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_It was a strange day for the inhabitants of Jersey City. For one thing, the guys with the giant robot hadn't destroyed half the the city yet.  
  
"Hey, Coop, you'd better hurry up with those adjustments. We haven't destroyed the city yet and it's nearly noon." Jamie said, lounging around Coop's garage as the gearhead tinkered with some of the robot's controls.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll be more destructive tomorrow to make up for it." Coop grunted absently as he struggled with a stubborn bolt.  
  
"Do I even _want_ to know what you're doing now?" A voice from the garage door made both guys jump slightly.  
  
"What does it look like? I'm tweaking Megas some more." Coop told Kiva, rubbing his hands off on an oily rag before throwing it in the back of the garage next to the old newspapers, frayed electrical outlet and the puddle of spilled gas.  
  
"Haven't you made enough 'improvements' to Megas yet?" Kiva asked him skeptically, her hands on her hips.  
  
"Ah, that reminds me, I gotta go..uh, talk to Goat about..something." Jamie said quickly as he exited the garage, sensing a massive argument he did NOT want to get caught up in.  
  
"Just what do you mean by that? My improvements are, well, improvements!" Coop said, standing up straighter to face Kiva.  
  
"Oh yeah, like the Hydro Missiles you 'improved' so you could water your mom's garden. And the Tsunami Blaster that you remade into an air conditioning unit. Oh, and--" Coop cut Kiva off abruptly before she could say anything else.  
  
"Those just SOUND bad because you picked the worst ones! Admit it: My improvements make Megas all the better. If I didn't, Megas would probably belong to the Glorft right about now!" Coop said stubbornly as Kiva rolled her eyes.  
  
"Coop, your moronic 'improvements' are what nearly get us killed every time! If it's not one missing piece, it's equipment that you modified to do absolutly nothing! You know what? It's by sheer luck the Glorft haven't captured us yet! Maybe we'd all be a lot better off if you stopped trying to make Megas better and concentrated on doing something USEFUL for once!" Kiva screamed, her temper flaring as she stomped off, leaving a rather confused Coop behind.

The next morning, Jamie and Kiva could be found at the garbage dump, minus Coop.

"You know, I was a little hard on Coop the other day. I hope he didn't take it the wrong way or anything. It's just that he can be so frustrating at times. You understand, right?" Kiva said to a still half asleep Jamie, plopping down on a moulding armchair.

"Huh..? Oh, right, sure. If you think so..." Jamie mumbled, looking up momentarily from the doughnut he had been eating.

"Don't worry, Coop always bounces back." Goat reassured Kiva, putting one grimy arm around the redhead, who winced.

"Jamie! Hey, Jamie! Come on, we're gonna be late!"

A loud shout from across the junkyard rang out into the morning air. Coop could be seen by the entrance, waving frantically. However, something about Coop was..off. Really off.

"Just what did you tell him yesterday?" Jamie hissed furiously, taking in the stained and dusty suit his best friend was currently wearing for no apparent reason.

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_I apologize for the lack of humor and the shortness of this Chapter. I promise, the next ones'll be funnier. Really! Would I lie to you? Wait, don't answer that last one. Just consider this a little prolouge until we get into the meat and potatoes of the story. Anyway, R&R please! Reviews more than welcomed! _


	2. Chapter 2: Fast Food and Crackpots

_A/N: Yay! Reviewers! Thanks so much you guys!_

_SnowChaser: Well, I figured he had one for special occasions and the like. But I doubt he ever actually WORE it..._

_Gryphon-Wonder: I know. I figured I'd add another to the slowly growing list. What can I say, I love Megas! I'm already fine-tuning a bunch of ideas for another Megas fic in the middle of 3 more running fics and 3 fics that are still in the planning stage. I'm such a glutton for punishment... ;;_

_darkraven10: Thanks, I really appreciate it! nn_

_Super-Veggie-San: Yeah, but I'm glad she did! You can NEVER have too much Megas, right?_

_Disclaimer: I own no giant robots, fortunatly for the megacities of the world._

_3939393939... scene divider_

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Jamie just stared at his best friend, who had now given up on waving and had begun to make his way over to Kiva, Goat and himself.

"Hey! Didn't you guys see me?" Coop asked enthusiastically, a rare occurence for the blond, seeing that it was only 9am on a Monday.

"Coop, why are you dressed like that?" Kiva asked, finding her voice again.

"Oh, this? It's 'cause Jamie and I are gonna go to a job interview today!" Coop declared,   
grinning happily.

"Since when do we do 'job interviews'?" Jamie mocked him.

"Because! I'm going to take Kiva's advice and do something useful! Now come on, we're going to be late!" Coop said, pulling on Jamie's arm.

"Why can't Kiva go? This is her fault!" Jamie protested, shooting an icy glare towards Kiva.

"Kiva doesn't know enough about this time period. Maybe she can take a history class or something instead. Now come on, we can't be late!" Coop declared, dragging Jamie off with him.

"Why does SHE get a choice?" Jamie muttered, attempting to break his friend's iron grip.

"Well, we do owe her one for using the time drive as a hockey puck..." Coop mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

" 'Hockey puck'? I thought it was unusable BEFORE you guys found it..!" Kiva said suspiciously, her hands on her hips.

"On second thought, let's get to work!" Jamie decided hurriedly, not liking the ever-darkening look on the redhead's face as he pushed his friend out of the junkyard.

Both Goat and Kiva watched them go. "Welll, looks like we're gonna have some free time together, Red..." Goat said with a leer.

"On second thought, maybe I should go check out those history classes Coop was talking about..." Kiva told him nervously, backing out of the junkyard as fast as possible.

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"THIS is what you had in mind for a 'fufilling, honorable, interesting career'?" Jamie hissed.

"What? Lots of people have chosen careers involving food!" Coop said defensively.

"At McBurger's?" Jamie shot back. They had been sitting in the manager's office for an hour now, awaiting an interview.

"Oh, it's not that bad! Soon's you get into the rhythm of things, you'll start to enjoy things!" Coop brushed the remark off, sounding like the poster boy for fast food service.

"Man, I'm SO going to get Kiva for this..." Jamie muttered under his breath as the manager, a greasy man almost as big as Coop and smelling of McBig-Burgers walked in.

"So! You boys wanna become purveyors of fine foods, eh?" The manager said perkily, sitting down on one of the hard chairs scattered about the office.

"If by that you mean becoming fry jockeys, then yes. Well, sort of." Jamie muttered, giving the man the evil eye.

"Good! Now, I'll need some references..." the manager exclaimed happily, oblivious to Jamie's sarcasm.

"Well, I--" Coop began, but was cut off by Jamie, a strange glint in his eyes.

"Coop here is not only a top-notch giant robot pilot, but he's also the G.C.C.F. reigning champ, destroys the city on a regular basis, and has won the Lord of the Large Pants belt three times in a row, all under MY expert supervision." Jamie quickly reeled off Coop's many rather questionable achivements on his fingers.

"...I see. Well, we do have an opening in the graveyard shift for you two, I guess...Be here at midnight tonight for your first shift!" The manager said, rather taken aback.

"Oh joy. I hope Kiva's having THIS much fun at school..." Jamie muttered mutinously, his good mood gone as quickly as it had come.

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Meanwhile, the woman in question was busy searching for a history class. In Coop's present state of mind, it might be best not to get on his nerves by ignoring his advice. After all, he WAS trying to help for once, even if it was a little..off. And this whole incident HAD been started by Kiva herself....

Unfortunatly, the newspaper ads refused to cooperate.

"How strange..you'd think there would be ads for adult education classes SOMEWHERE in here..." Kiva murmered as she scanned the Help Wanted section instead of the Classified Ads(which Coop had 'borrowed' that morning).

"Ah! This will do! I think..." Kiva exclaimed, coming to an ad which stated:

**The Salem Witch Trials--Alien Meddling?   
**

**Come help research topics such as these AND MORE!   
Call 000-0000 for details.**

"In any case, it's the closest to a history class I'll find. I think I've even heard of the trials before! And it won't kill me to go, right?" Kiva reassured herself half-heartedly as she picked up the phone and began to dial.

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_You'll have to excuse the horrible McDonald's parody and/or the fake phone number, I'm horrible at stuff like that. ;; Anyway, more soon, so R&R please!_


	3. Chapter 3: Enter the Martians

_A/N: Thank you all so much for the glowing praise! You don't know how much I appreciate it! hands out special reviewer cookies_

_SnowChaser: Only Jamie would consider 'destroying the city' a useful reference..._

_Gryphon-Wonder: Thank you! New stories always make really nervous, I'm glad to see you're enjoying it!_

_Kuramafangirl11: Oh, there's a few more around here somewhere. But I'm glad you saw this one! Anyway, there WILL be some action in the story, though it won't necessarily be the Glorft(I THINK that's the correct spelling)...winks mysteriously_

_animeloverj: blushes furiously I DO try and write what I think the characters will actually say. Still, that's very kind of you!_

_3939393939393939393... border thingy between scenes_

_Disclaimer: I WISH I had a giant robot, but sadly, I lack one at the moment..._

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The dust covered wall clock hanging above the door of McBurgers read 2 o'clock in the morning as Jamie drifted off to sleep, his face nearly landing on the rather burnt patties he had been cooking.

"JAMIE! You gotta stay awake!"

A shout from the cash registers jolted Jamie awake.

"Coop, you're the only one crazy enough to buy fast food at 2 in the morning. Notice the complete lack of morons--I mean, customers?" Jamie grumbled, glaring blearily at his friend the 'cashier'.

"Oh really? What about that one guy?" Coop retorted, hands on his hips.

"You mean the insomniac who didn't actually BUY anything, but wandered around in here for 10 whole minutes. Why does a burger joint have to be open all night, anyway?" Jamie muttered darkly.

"It's our duty to the customers!" Coop declared, one hand over his heart as the National Anthem began to play somewhere in the distance. Jamie rolled his eyes and went back to sleep.

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Elsewhere, Kiva was sitting in an abandoned warehouse as she waited for her new 'teacher' to arrive. She didn't have to wait long, as a man with messy, greasy black hair,  
jeans and a black turtleneck ran inside, looking furtively all around him as he slammed the door shut.

"Ah! A pupil! Most excellent, now we can begin!" The man exclaimed, rubbing his hands together in a devious fashion.

"Was it really necessary for us to meet here?" Kiva asked him, raising her hand as she had seen on old videos from the 30th century.  
"But of course! How else would I show you the crowning point of my research into the dark and twisted history of the U.S. government? Behold, for I give you--an actual robot from the infamous Area 50! They said it didn't exist, that I was just another anarchist! However, this seemingly harmless looking warehouse is the key to it all!" The man cried, whipping a ratty looking cloth off of a huge heap in the dusty corner of the warehouse to reveal a pile of rusted gears and bolts. Kiva thought she might have been able to make out a central programming unit, but it might have just been a racoon.

"I don't think that's a robot from Area 50, or even a robot at all." Kiva said skeptically, gingerly examining the scrap metal heap in front of her.

"Oh, really? What would YOU know about the robotic techniques used in Area 50? Perhaps you're just some kind of government spy, hmm?" Her 'teacher' whirled around furiously, pointing a rusted pipe he had found at her.

"For your information, the only Area 50 robot I've ever heard about ended up in the Grand Canyon." Kiva informed him, her hands on her hips.

At this, the man stopped dead in his tracks. "Of course! Why ELSE would the U.S. care so much about the Grand Canyon? Brilliant, simply brilliant!" He shouted exuberantly, rushing out of the filthy warehouse at once.

"Maybe I've got the wrong place..." Kiva muttered to herself as she watched her one-time teacher head towards the Grand Canyon.

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Kiva returned to Coop's basement to find her friends already waiting for her.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be at work?" Kiva asked them.

"Aren't YOU supposed to be at school?" Jamie muttered under his breath.

"Oh, some guy got mad because Jamie didn't wash his hands before returning to work. It's an important policy, you know." Coop said, giving Jamie a reproachful look.

"Good riddance. That place is evil. I worked from 10pm to 6am, and by the time I got home, slept and ate it was time to get ready for work again! Not my fault there are too many whiners in the world." Jamie said defensively, slouching down further on the couch.

"Well, don't worry, we can always find new jobs!" Coop decided cheerfully.

"WHAT?!" Jamie shouted, sitting bolt upright.

However, Coop never got a chance to explain, seeing as how part of the wall was blasted away several seconds later. As the smoke cleared, two tall, grey round-headed aliens with big liquid black eyes entered the room.

"Coop, why are there Martians standing where the wall used to be?" Jamie asked, his voice tinged with something bordering on hysterics.

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_Read and review now, please! Thanks!_


	4. Chapter 4: All's Well That Ends Well

_A/N: I know it's been awhile since Part 3, but Finals Week in honors classes is NOT the best time to be writing fanfics...Oh well, enjoy!_

_Ginny-Hates-Them: Actually, in one of the earlier eppys, they referred to 'Area 50', so I figured I'd just keep using that. Anyway, glad to hear that you like the story! _

3939393939393939393... border thingy between scenes

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I have yet to discover a giant robot in a trash heap...

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"Do not be afraid. We come in peace." The first Martian said, extending one hand.

"That's exactly what you want us to think!" Jamie exclaimed, pointing one finger accusingly at the aliens.

"Of course! Why else would we say such things?" The second Martian agreed cheerfully, clapping its hands together.

"I KNEW it! Coop, go get Megas! These guys are up to no good!" Jamie told Coop, casting a furtive look over his shoulder to the Martians, who waved.

"Um, that might be a little difficult..." Coop said nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"Wait, do you mean that strange mech you sold us?" The first Martian asked him.

"We've got-what is that saying again-a picky bone with you about that mech." The other alien told Coop sternly, shaking one long finger in his face.

"Coop..." Kiva began, a warning tone in her voice.

"Well, I needed some money to pay for all those damages to the city, so I sold Megas to these guys. It was a bad trade, though. All I got was some weird metal thingys, so I melted 'em down." Coop explained rather sheepishly.

"You sold Megas! And didn't even give me a piece of the profits?" Jamie shouted in outrage, promptly earning a kick in the shins from Kiva.

"Coop, the 'metal thingys' were credit coins! They're used all over space! For once you were rich!" Kiva groaned aloud.

"You mean you cannot return the money?" The first alien exclaimed.

"Your mech is defective! It will not work for even our best pilots! How dare you cross the Martians!" The second alien raged.

"I TOLD you putting all that junk in Megas was a bad idea. Now nobody but you can use it!" Kiva told Coop, frustrated beyond belief.

"Ah! Then you will come with us and fly the mech for us!" The second alien exclaimed happily, its anger towards Coop entirely forgotten.

"Sorry guys. I'm retired now." Coop said, raising his hands in defense.

"Retired! That's for old geezers who like golf and plaid pants!" Jamie hissed in his friend's ear.

"That was not a question. Come with us, or pay the money. Otherwise..!" The second alien hissed, all traces of joviality gone from its features, gesturing towards the ruined wall.

"Well then, I guess we're gonna visit Mars." Coop said with a nervous laugh.

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Some time later, Coop and company found themselves inside the familiar giant robot. This time, however, wasn't a game. As noted by several thousand lasers trained on Megas.

"This is the last time I read the Weekly N-Quire, they said the Martians were a dying race!" Jamie muttered under his breath, watching the all tiny red dots trained on the giant blue mech.

"They'd have to be to marry some hillbillies from the Ozarks!" Kiva shot back. Their current situation was not helping her increasingly bad mood.

"Ugh..why isn't this working? I tried doing things my way and things got bad, and when I tried Kiva's way, everything got worse!" Coop muttered dejectedly, slouching downwards in the driver's seat. An uneasy silence settled over the inhabitants of the mech.

Jamie gave Kiva a look. They both knew whose fault it was that Coop was in such a state.

Kiva broke the silence first. "Coop..I shouldn't have lost my temper. After all, we'd been doing pretty well with you behind the wheel. I don't think we'd be here if it wasn't for one of your more, ah,_interesting_ plans. You're fine just the way you were."

"Really? Wow, that's really cool of you, Kiva." Coop replied softly.

"Hate to break this up, but the Martians still want our heads. Just what do either of you plan on doing about it?" Jamie broke in, destroying the semi-romantic mood quite effectively.

Before either of the other two occupants of the mech could respond, the comlink crackled to life as a burnt sienna colored alien flickered into view.

"Just what do you think you're doing, helping the Martians! Those con men have enough treasure to buy another planet!" The figure demanded.

"Those little dudes? You sure?" Coop asked, confused.

"Earther! Do not listen! Our enemies wish to draw you to their side!" One of the Martians from before appeared on the screen as well.

"They are?" Coop asked, now utterly muddled.

"Well, Earther?" Both of the aliens asked simultaneously, expecting a decision from him.

"Got any ideas?" Coop turned to his friends.

"This is a matter of trust and honesty that must be handled with great delicacy-" Kiva began, but was interrupted by Jamie.

"Or you could just shoot a few missiles everywhere and get the hell out of here with Megas." Jamie added.

"Let's see..I already listened to Kiva last time, so this time I'll use Jamie's idea!" Coop decided, thwacking a button marked 'Doom And Destruction' and sped off towards Jersey City once more.

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Several days later, everything had seemingly returned to normal.

Out back in the garage, Coop was once more working on Megas when Kiva came out.

Pulling his head out of the radiator, Coop wiped his hands off on a newspaper which read 'Attacks On The Grand Canyon Continue'.

"Hey Red. What's new? Got any ideas for Megas?" Coop greeted her warmly.

"Personally, I think you're both fine the way you are." Kiva grinned, giving Coop a quick kiss on the cheek as she left the garage.

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All done! I know, kinda fluffy towards the end. Ah well, hope you liked it! R&R please!


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